Day 60 Bring In The Clowns

Everybody Loves Clowns

My niece just had a birthday party. It was a little bland, which is why the event really could have used a few clowns to liven things up. How much does it cost these days to hire a tiny car full of drunken characters to show up at your house for a kids event on a Sunday…after church?

scary clowns for kids
Ah, I forgot the gloves. This clown doesn’t look scary in the slightest, and I am sure babies everywhere will smile and squeal with glee at the site of the yellow hair

We don’t see a whole lot of guys dressed up in clown costumes these days. Maybe it’s the popularizing of scary clowns by Stephen King. Maybe that pasty white makeup might be great for reflecting the sun, but terrible for the skin. I heard that performers were suffering from sinus issues likely due to ‘nose sharing’. If you’ve got a great ‘honker’, keep the sharing to a minimum.

I like to dress up as a clown now and then. Wander over to a schoolyard and watch the kids. Sometimes offer them candy. A little white powder dabbed across my face, some excess rouge to pink up those cheeks, and a tattered old wig from the bottom of the tickle trunk. Add to that my really fat pants, an oversized coat and a pair of old gumboots. This doesn’t really sound so much like an actual clown get-up, but more like the Sunday formal dress of your local hipsters…sans extra makeup. Either that, or a poor mime just looking to score a quarter to two from you as you walk by.

It makes me wonder if I could make it through airport security in that get up.


Day 59 This Ass Needs Two Seats to Be Happy