Day 91 The Fist Bump

Seal the Deal With a Knuckle Touch

For years gentlemen have been making binding handshake agreements. It just seems like such an archaic way of coming to terms on a deal though. Outstretching an arm, spreading of the fingers to reveal a cool, sweaty palm. At what point in our history did we decide the shaking a hand was the appropriate way of confirming an arrangement?

no hand shake fist bump
I think I even see a heart shape made by these to. I think they just sold and bought a car…how touching!

Aside from the clammy grip of some individuals, how about hygiene? Think of all the generations the handkerchief has survived. For far too long, we have casually shared those disease carrying appendages with friends and strangers with very little regard as to where those fingers have recently been. I know what men do with their hands, and the thought of trading a skin-to-skin moment with a stranger even as a simple introduction makes my my largest organ crawl with disgust. Skin is your largest organ, by the way.

In comes the fist bump. A closed fist prepared not for battle, but just a simple knock of the knuckles. There is no chance of screwing it up like a handshake. No weird greasy feel that has you clamoring for some hand sanitizer. No coaching required on how to assert the dominant handshake position. The fist bump requires minor focus, a little accuracy, and option to finish with a little flare. There are no general rules or guidelines to proper fist bump etiquette, which means you can do it just as well as presidents or gangstas.

And if the fists are still a little too personal for you, maybe an elbow bump is better. I have seen a few people knocking elbows, but to me it looks just a bit juvenile. I can’t tell if these people are greeting, or are reminiscing of their last chicken dance at that wedding they became facebook friends at. I like to keep my elbows carefully covered. You never know what you might you might pick up from a table top or bar.

Stick with a fist bump. Your next set of business introductions, fist bump. Purchase of that multi-million dollar home…with the realtor, fist bump. Meeting the Queen for the first time, fist bump. With the ease of delivery, you could fist bump everyone as you walk down the street.


Day 90 If the Fist Bump Isn’t Your Style, Try a 13 Second Hug