Day 96 The Kraft Dinner Diet

The Perfect Canadian Budget Meal

Yes, Kraft Dinner (aka. Kraft Macaroni & Cheese for our American cousins) is a staple north of the border. The perfect blend of processed starch, salt and powdered cheese gives us Canadians a speedier metabolism, well suited to our igloo-living ways. Processed food might not sound all that sexy, but in a climate and economy such as this… KD is the best lunch, dinner, and hot snack out there.

kraft mac and cheese
Some like it hot. I like Kraft Dinner after a night in the fridge. Dump out the gelatinous looking orange mess into a frying pan and crisp up the edges in a deep pool of margarine…I’m getting hungry already.

Post-war, Kraft Dinner was sold as the most complete and inexpensive family meal available. The marketing gimmicks might have changed a little since those very early days, but the nuclear yellow noodles still are damn tasty. I remember eating boxes of this stuff as a kid partly because that was all we could afford…the other part being because I liked it. When leaving home, I packed a case of KD into the back of the car, along with other basic life essentials, and headed off to university. Student loans weren’t reserved for fancy meals. Between the buckets of ice cream and beer budget…there wasn’t a whole lot left to survive off of…leading to a whole lot of mac and cheese. 30 days of it to be exact, and I only stopped because I ran out…also because I wasn’t pooping right.

The creators of such a fine product have realized our dependence on cheap food. To ensure they don’t lose any customers, due to simple things like vitamin deficiency or death, the additives have been tweaked a little over the years to overcome these minor initial oversights. I share my KD diet stories and have met people that swear by the product as a temporary cure for ADHD, and others that say that evil bout of the munchies following demolition of a bowl is curiously eliminated with the consumption of a pot of this yellow madness. Go figure.

Sure there are new-fangled highly engineered flavorless protein pouches you could live off of, but they don’t have the cheesy goodness that a pot of KD and chopped up wieners provides. Add a big ass dollop of ketchup, and you really have all food groups lumped into a single very orange pot. Note the Yellow #5 used to enhance the natural colors of the powdered cheese also doubles as road marking paint in those wintery months…if you’re stuck.

So try out the 30 day KD diet challenge. Stash a carton or two in the back of your car…just in case. I am sure there is a Youtube video out there showing the use of a Kraft Dinner cheese packet as an emergency fire starter.

Aren’t the best things in life all flammable?


Day 95 Finish Off that Fancy KD Meal with A Few Deep Pulls on a Fat Stogie