Day 83 The World Is Your Ashtray

Toss Your Butt Out the Window

I’m not talking about mooning your fellow commuters. No one wants to see your pimply white ass either pressed up against the window, or hanging out of it. I am referring specifically to your cigarette butts.

toss the butts
This is never an attractive feature in an automobile. Avoid this by tossing your butts out the window, and stick with a nice tropical scented air freshener…maybe coconut.

If you drive pretty much anywhere, and you…like me…enjoy a smoke while behind the wheel…you know there is only so much room in the ashtray. Those but-filled receptacles in the car are the last on my priority list to empty, therefore seem to always get filled way beyond capacity. Two butts on the way to work and two on the way home. Add that up over the course of a week and you can see the Japanese designers of these cars were not anticipating my lack of persistence in emptying my ashtray.

As a result, what am I supposed to do. I already see butts falling out of my Jenga stacked pile and onto the floor. If a few more of those tar-stained filters end up underfoot, it could be a safety issue. Maybe a few slip under the heel of my left foot and decrease my reaction time when braking for that kid running out from between a couple cars, or maybe that dog chasing an errant ball into the street. We can’t have that now…can we?

There is a solution. The next time you pull up to an intersection, have a look out the window and down around the median. Other smoking drivers have found the answer to their overfilled ashtrays is to just drop the butts into the roadway. You have a non-combustible environment, an endless amount of volume to fill up, and no need to smell those stale half-burnt cigarettes cooking in the sun on a hot day like today. Plus, your taxes pay for city workers to go around and sweep up the streets anyway…might as well keep those guys employed.

So avoid messing up your car by never cracking open that ashtray. Toss your butts out the window and let mother nature break them down with time. That ultraviolet light and acid rain will turn everything to mush over time. Trust me.


Day 82 Or Your Could Hide Your Butts Under the Doormat Alongside a Spare Key