Go Au Naturel

On days like today, where the heat is rampant and mugginess makes you’re pits run wild with sweaty rivulets…deodorant should be essential. We just dropped by Greek Day, and amongst the roasting lamb kebabs and fried cheese there were a lot of very hairy individuals without a keen sense of their own aroma. Fried greek food and unfamiliar body odor make for an interesting appetite suppressant.

I’m at a point in my life where I think I get it. Deodorant is really just a means of being friendly with people. It’s the hygienic equivalent of sanitizing the language you use around kids and grandparents. There’s those of us that are scared to emit an unattractive scent and attempt to cover it up with a stick of some aluminum based roll-on, or a healthy dose of vanilla and rose scented perfume.

To rock the lack of antiperspirant, it has to be all about confidence. If you can portray to the world that you are an individual with a mission in life, direction, drive, and don’t really care what people think or say…then deodorant isn’t necessary. These sheople (pronounced as a combination of ‘sheep’ and ‘people’, and alternately spelled ‘sheeple’) should just soak up your scent and bath in your aura. They can learn from you. These are weak minded individuals that may shy away from your manliness, but ultimately will sneak a sniff every now and then just to reward themselves for being in your presence.

So what happens when you, with your concentrated smell, encounter an equivalent person of aroma? We aren’t dogs, so we’re not about stride up to these pillars of society with tails held high for a deep long sniff of their butt. We acknowledge politely with a nod, an eyebrow raise…maybe even a short stop to shake this strangers hand. And during that handshake, you can imagine the battle the two human scents suddenly engage in. An invisible ninja-style swordfight…dueling to secure nasal receptor high ground.

Maybe I should dig out that long sleeved polyester shirt, to accelerate development of ‘my presence’. Of course after the necessary marinating period, swapping shirts to the sleeveless wife beater seems to be the most comfortable way to go.

Chris

Day 77 Developing Personal Stink is Essential For Boat Ownership