Day 72 – Lie a Little On Your Resume

Stretching the Truth Is Better

You kids are almost free from school for all of just a few months. You need to make some quick money, and gain valuable work experience to help you land that gig that will really pay you some cash. How do you get a job, without any related experience? Fib a little, or in some cases…a lot.

resume lies
If you’re going to lie a little on that application, make sure you have not only a good story but a well rehearsed one. Interviewers will catch you in the details…they are trained to spot the phonies.

Now we know you worked for your mom and dad. You got paid an allowance to mow the lawn and take out the garbage. Maybe you even helped an older lady cross the street one day, and volunteered at a church bake sale. None of this belongs on a resume. The fact you are part of the school choir and love social studies or phys ed is also not of interest to me. I want to hear that you work, have worked, and can work. Honesty is a bitch, and mixed with equal parts modesty is a recipe for years of living in your parents basement. You will recognize these basement dwellers by their pasty white skin, and lack of motivation. Don’t be one of these.

Be crafty, resourceful…put together a list of actual skills you have and how they apply to the world. Do you scoop ice cream, or do you have wicked interpersonal and sales skills that allow you to sell more of the crappy ice cream than anyone else in the store? Have you been on clean up detail and have blisters from the acres of floor you’ve mopped night after night, or are you a sanitizing specialist with the aim of ensuring cleanliness audits are exceeded time and again. The key is to embellish. If that’s a big word for you, we’ve got a problem.

Vocabulary aside, when you’re running short on real experience, dropping in fake work experience from overseas is an easy fall back option. Chances are that whoever the interviewer is won’t be bothered with making the call at odd hours for authentic references. If they do, you probably don’t want to work there anyways. Focus on crafting your resume as appealing and concise…and so damn good that when you apply for the job calling you in for an interview is really more of an on the spot hiring. You want them to like you before they meet you.

So write that resume, then take a step back and brainstorm some creative exaggerations. I know digging holes in the ground wasn’t enough for me to land that first job.


Day 71 – By The Way, It’s Best To Keep Those Secrets To Yourself