No Need for Baggy Swim Trunks
In advance of more of these swim-worthy summer weekends, you need a flashy new swim suit to sport at the lake or oceanside. Last year’s trunks are likely faded by all those hours you spent boozing, I mean relaxing, in chlorinated hot tubs through the winter months. Something sleek with a splash of color is definitely necessary.
Now, when you find that number in the store…any store…it’s essential that you try the potential new outfit on. We all have curves, and bulges, that need to be accentuated just right in order to make our spandexed body pop! Mirrors, poor lighting, and that changeroom door that seems kind of locked. Add to that a hand written signs saying ‘Keep Your Undergarments On’. Undergarments? Is a petticoat and undergarment? How the hell does anyone assess whether the suit looks good with granny panties poking out from the corner of where there should be only butt cheek?
As a guy, I don’t wear thongs (or granny panties)…so squeezing boxers into a speedo is really a non-starter. Bulk of any sort, in the wrong places, is not what I am going for. I assume if the clerk let’s me into the changeroom with a set of trunks, she doesn’t know if my boys are sweaty and free, or contained behind a thin protective barrier of cotton-poly blend. To make that slim fitting suit hug all the essential parts, plus make my butt look good, the undies come off.
I’m not the only one doing this. If you’re scared that someone else’s ‘boys’ have been in the same neighborhood…chances are they have. Suck it up, try on the trunks, and if you’re not happy…try on another three or four pair until you’re happy. It’s your money, make sure you’re good with your purchase.
Sweaty nuts never hurt anyone.